These are my rants about Philadelphia, the city I'm stuck in. This is not merely a collection of senseless ravings. Everything I write here is opinion coming directly from my own experiences.

Not everyone in Philly is angry or nasty or rude or insane. There are good things and people in this city. When I think of some I post them.

Why do I live here if I hate it so much? I can't afford to move. Yet.
Until that glorious day comes when I can finally leave this wretched place, this is my sounding board. That's all.

Brotherly Hate, Yet Again

October 31st 2009

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2009/10/31/2009-10-31_city_of_brotherly_bleeping_love_philly_fans_full_of_threats__profanities_for_yan.html#ixzz0VWNOaXSF

City of Brotherly (bleeping) Love: News reporter brings Yankee pride to Philadelphia and gets earful

BY Kenny Porpora
DAILY NEWS WRITER

Friday, October 30th 2009, 9:12 PM

The love started as soon as I stepped out of a taxi in Philadelphia on Friday, decked out in my A-Rod jersey and Yankees hat.

“Go back to New York!” shouted a kid skating by.

“You’re in the wrong city,” shouted another guy wearing a “Yankees Suck” shirt.

“You got a lot of nerve coming to my city!” shouted a woman walking her dog along South St.

And they were the nice ones.

As I walked throughout the City of Brotherly Love dressed as a Yankees fan on the eve of Game 3 of the World Series, cars rolled by just slow enough to welcome me to Philadelphia with a verbal lashing of expletives and some choice sign language.

Sometimes they’d save their breath and simply toss an empty beer can out the window.

Other times they’d just shake their head in shame.

And while I’ve often dreamed about spending my nights on Park Ave. with Kate Hudson, after the reception I got wearing No. 13, I wouldn’t trade places with A-Rod for anything.

“This is war, baby!” said Nicholas Talio, 22, of South Philadelphia. “And you’re the enemy. If you’re not wearing red, you’re not with us.”

Clad in Phillies garb and drinking a can of Bud Lite outside of Citizens Bank Ballpark, Talio cited Yankees fans’ arrogance as his reason for detesting the entire franchise.

“They think they have the right to every World Series,” said Talio, before his buddy, Anthony Vanderze, 25, also of South Philly, chimed in.

“But tomorrow, we’re going to show them why we’re the defending champs.”

With the series tied 1-1, emotions are flaring, and the mere sight of a Yankees fan is enough to send some Phillies fans over the edge.

“You suicidal?” asked a confrontational Oscar Alvarado, 28, of North Philadelphia. “You gonna come into my city dressed like that? It’s time to go home. Your boys are going to lose.”

He paused his tirade just long enough for a car stopped in traffic to roll down the window and insult my mother.

“You risking your health coming here dressed like that,” concluded Alvarado.

Steve DeGrazio, 27, of Landsdale, Pa., was tailgating with some friends in the parking lot of Citizens Bank Ballpark when he caught a glimpse of me.

He did not like what he saw.

“You must be lost!” he shouted incredulously. “You have to be out of your mind coming to my stadium dressed like this! Go back to your corporate shopping mall of a stadium. You don’t belong here, Yankee.”

Thank you for the warm welcome, Philly. I love you, too.

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Yankees fans speak up…..

October 29th 2009

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/their_fans_are_second_rate_so_is_mnrbqD4sqsEKH10TfB3k6H

Frillies are coming to town!

Their fans are second-rate & so is their city

By RICH CALDER, ERIN CALABRESE and JEREMY OLSHAN

Last Updated: 6:56 PM, October 27, 2009

Yankees fans have a message for the Phillies and their hometown: This ain’t Rocky, and the underdog won’t win!

“The Yankees are going to make Philly cream cheese out of them,” a confident Tommy Bayiokos, 44, predicted yesterday in Midtown.

“Philly fans are a bunch of whiners and should learn how to dress. They should try reading GQ.”

Living up to their second-class billing going into the start of the Fall Classic tomorrow, the Phils arrived in New York yesterday — by train.

The less-than-grand entrance triggered a flood of invective from the Yankee faithful.
“GIVE ME your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free” compared to … a cheesesteak.

“Bleacher Bums get a bad rap,” said Tanner McLoud, 42, of Long Island. “But if you’ve ever been to the old Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia, you’d realize just how much worse Phillies fans are.

“You can’t go to a game without getting booze thrown at you!”

Gotham has been regularly beating the pants off Philly since overtaking the one-horse town as the nation’s economic capital in the early 19th century.

Even Benjamin Franklin, Philly’s patron saint, has been described as “the father of all the Yankees.”

Although Philadelphia doesn’t draw the same ire among New Yorkers as Boston or Los Angeles, it’s mostly because Gothamites consider the city across the Ben Franklin Bridge pretty pathetic, says Bleacher Creature Michael Stewart.

“I don’t have hate for Philly exactly — they are like our redheaded stepchild,” he said.

“It’s like a nothing city. It’s just insignificant in comparison to New York.”

Another Yankee fan, Laura Nidelle, 24, insists the Yuengling-slinging rubes in Philly are uncultured and uninteresting — and go to bed too early.

“I briefly lived in Philadelphia and I couldn’t wait to get out,” the Brooklyn writer said. “Their fans are whiners, the food is lousy and there is nothing to do.

“New York is all about being on top, with no excuses — just like the Yankees.”

And don’t get us started on the cuisine.

Consider Philadelphia’s most famous export — other than Will Smith: overcooked minced-meat sand wiches doused in Cheez Whiz.

“The big meal there is a steak with cheese and onions on a hero, but they don’t even call it a hero. It’s a hoagie. What the hell is a hoagie?” said Ron Montclane, 26.

As far as sports go, sure, the Phillies have won two World Series championships compared with the Yankees’ 26, but far sadder is that no one from Philly cares much.

“Their most famous athlete is Rocky, and he’s fictional,” sneered Alex Rusu, 23, a building superintendent in Gramercy.

And don’t even try to compare the iconic House That Ruth Built with the long-gone Veterans Stadium.

“Their stadium had a jail cell for rowdy fans because they like throwing stuff at people,” said Laura Hall, 35, of The Bronx.

The Phillies’ current home, Citizens Bank Park, is jail-free, but the fans are still thugs, Bombers faithful said.

Additional reporting by Amber Sutherland

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Kamikaze Buses….

October 26th 2009

Picture this:

A narrow two lane street, one lane in each direction, yellow line down the middle of the road.

A car is double-parked on one side of the street, blocking off that lane.

A city bus approaches, traveling in the lane of the double-parked car. Coming the other way is a lone driver in an SUV. Their paths are destined to cross in the vicinity of the double-parked car.

What to make of this situation? In a normal world, you would expect that the city bus driver would conscientiously slow his vehicle and remain in his lane until after the oncoming SUV progresses past the blockage.

But this is Philadelphia.

In this bizarro world, the city bus driver speeds up as he approaches the spot where his lane is blocked. The driver of the SUV is forced to slow down and stop the vehicle a good distance from the double-parked car and wait while the city bus careens past, recklessly driving on the wrong side of the street, blatantly ignoring both traffic laws and the laws of common sense.

Obviously the SUV has the right of way in this situation. After all, the lane the SUV is traveling is not blocked by a double-parked car.
Thankfully, the driver of the SUV has enough experience driving the streets of Philadelphia to anticipate the situation and prudently allow the bus to take over the street and pass by before proceeding on.

The question is this….what if the driver of the SUV had not known about the erratic behavior of Philly bus drivers,  and thus hadn’t slowed down to make sure there was enough room for the bus to pass by?

Answer: Head-on collision ending in the death of the SUV driver.

There’s not a court in the land, even in Filthadelphia, that wouldn’t award the SUV driver’s family financial compensation for an accident like this.

Last question……how many times has this already happened and what will it take to make city bus drivers obey traffic laws?

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There’s no reason to hate thin people…..

October 24th 2009

Today in the supermarket I heard two women behind me mutter something about crack and then they started cackling. What people say to each other is none of my business. I’m merely there doing some grocery shopping. But when these two passed me, they said something else unintelligible and gave me withering looks.

My offense? Being thin.

Each of these lovelies weighed in at around 250 each easily.

I honestly don’t know how much I weigh. Last I looked it was about 105. I’m a size 0. That’s all I need to know.

Please listen, Philadelphia: It’s not a crime to be thin!

For years Philly has been known as one of the fattest cities in the country. It’s not just my opinion. The great majority of people here are overweight or obese. That’s not healthy but still, to each his own. But why the prejudice against people who are not overweight?

For the record, I am not on crack. I don’t starve myself. I simply don’t overeat on a regular basis. That, combined with yoga every day and working out when I get around to it, is all there is to it.

I love chocolate and eat plenty of it in so many different varieties of deliciousness. I don’t eat low-fat anything and never diet. But I also don’t look for the closest available spot in parking lots. As an ex-New Yorker, I don’t mind walking and realize that small things like that make a difference.

In NYC, I didn’t stand out. It’s home to thousands of models, actors, dancers, etc. I lived among them and blended in, not once being the victim of verbal abuse simply because I have elbows instead of dimples in my arm fat. But here in Philly I stick out like a sore thumb.

Of course it’s mostly women who show this hostility towards me. Though many men prefer heavy women, the majority of men here show appreciation for my slim figure. Lord knows I’m not seeking the approval or admiration of anyone. These are just observations.

I assume it’s envy on the part of these Philly women. If so, I say this: When I’m stressed out, my stomach ties in knots and I can’t eat. That, combined with the physical activity I do and simply not overeating, are the reasons I’m thin. So it’s a big mistake to judge a book by it’s cover because you just don’t know what the story is behind that cover.

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Sorry, but Philly is not famous for pretzels

October 19th 2009

When I first moved to Philly I found out that people here think that Philadelphia is famous for it’s pretzels.

Wrong.

It’s not like I come from east Bumblepines Nebraska. I’ve lived most of my life in the NY/NJ area. Doesn’t it make sense that people from areas near Philly should be aware of the famous Philly pretzel, if that were indeed so?

Since  discovering this fanciful theory adhered to by Philadelphians, I’ve made a habit of asking people that I meet who are from other areas of the country if they’ve ever heard of Philadelphia and it’s famed pretzels. Not a single person has answered in the affirmative. Not one.

Face it Philly, the only cuisine you’re famous for is a sandwich made out of chopped meat and Cheez-whiz.

I’ve tried this concoction all over Philadelphia in search of the elusive delicious cheesesteak.

Still, the best cheesesteak I’ve ever had came from a deli on 6th Avenue in Soho. That’s NYC.
Sorry.

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Plowing the streets…..

October 8th 2009

I live on a narrow residential street in Philadelphia. The city has never plowed my road.

Every other place I’ve lived, including NYC, every street gets plowed and salted. Keeping travel moving is a priority for any city to function smoothly. Philadelphia’s lack of basic services like plowing all streets indicates the faulty structure of the decisions maker’s priorities.

I understand that during and after a snow storm, the plows are busy clearing main roads. That obviously takes precedence over side streets. But two days after we’ve gotten almost a foot of snow, the main roads are clear while some residential streets are a sheet of ice caked over snow. I call it perma-ice because it will be there until it melts, be that in weeks or even months.

It’s dangerous to drive on streets like this. And they’re everywhere. Hundreds of them. All accidents waiting to happen.

Would it be too much trouble to at least throw a little salt or sand on the side streets of Philadelphia?

If it’s a budget problem, I have the answer here

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